Having A Carer In Your 20s [CC]

Having A Carer In Your 20s [CC]


Hello, lovely people! If you’re new to this channel, hi! My name is Jessica I have a disability; a chronic illness; fabulous hair and I’ve consistently had a carer for thirteen years now No, I didn’t spell ‘career’ wrong in the title This video’s for anyone who’s interested in caring whether that’s as a job or as a service user Sorry, I really hate the term “service user” “Disabled person” is not a bad term and I hate the way that certain services make me feel like it is by avoiding using that word but, equally, you don’t actually have to be disabled in order to receive help, hence why I said “service user” This video should also be quite interesting if you are neither of those things but just like to learn about different people’s lives If you can’t tell already, I am incredibly English So, my familiarity with the money-government side of things does come from a very British point of view I know it’s very different in other countries Obviously that experience of working with a carer is very universal, however, so hopefully you will be able to take something from that part of this video The first thing to tell you is that needing a carer is nothing to be embarrassed by or ashamed of It can seem a little alarming, especially since there’s such an intrusive personal space aspect But they are there to help you be more independent, not less so do give it a chance It is really weird having someone come in and do the things that a carer does for you but I think it’s a bit like a mash-up of dating in that you become so close to someone you’re not related to and doctors who you don’t really care about seeing you naked, as long as they stop the pain Is that a bad description? Basically, you will stop caring, I promise In order to receive help from the local government, you will need a Care Needs Assessment Which is where someone from the council comes and assesses your needs and how they affect your well-being Basically, you need to have difficulties in your life that arise from having a physical or mental impairment, or illness The assessor then asks how you would like to live your life Not in an abstract ‘be a millionaire and own a sports car’ kind of way; more in an ‘eat food and bathe’ kind of way And they will then decide how they can best help Whether that’s providing home care workers, where someone comes into your house; equipment that might help you get in and out of the bath independently for example or a ramp at the front of your house But I’m just talking very specifically about home care workers today Carers can help in an arrange of ways, whether that’s preparing your food; or washing you; helping you go through your letters; taking you to doctor’s appointments; keeping your home clean; taking you to parties, even That’s always a good one I don’t actually remember my own Care Needs Assessment Not just because my memory is famously poor, but also because I think I was unconscious For the whole year My health had been carooning downhill since my early teens and then when I was seventeen, it crashed and I was left with two paralysed arms and an inability to sit up without vomiting and passing out again I was also in constant excruciating pain Fun My latent genetic disabilities had decided it was time to come out and there was nothing the doctors could do but give me painkillers and send me home from the hospital Problem being that my father was working most of the time and my brother was at boarding school And my mother My tiny mother had to look after me For reference, here I am with my mother She’s not actually tiny; she is above average for a woman I’m just a giant There are two options for home care: Either the council sends someone from their pool of carers and they pay their salary or there’s a thing called Direct Payments where the council takes the money that they would’ve paid for that person’s salary and puts it in a very special bank account which you as the “service user” control And then you choose the person that you want to pay out of that I shall explain more about Direct Payments in a minute But needless to say, no one told us that was an option Over the next year, we had an array of different carers come in and out of our lives It’s a really tricky process, finding the right person, and people didn’t work out for a range of reasons Some because they argued with my mother Other reasons were: Maybe they were only in the job because they wanted to feel morally superior Like the angry Spanish lady who, driving me to the one school class I could manage that week, berated me for half an hour about how there were so many people worse off than me and that I was a drain on the government and not deserving of her care She said to the child who couldn’t move her arms; walk two paces; or stay conscious for more than two hours at a time Sure, sure, you’re a good person, OK There were also those who had their heart in the right place but were completely unsuited to the profession At the end of one particularly hard week, my social worker arrived having found a new carer My mother was absolutely delighted since she had been on her own all week and didn’t have the power to lift me All she wanted was a break and for someone to give me a bath But the lady turned to her, pulled down the shoulder of her top, and said, “I can’t” “I’ve just had surgery to reattach my dislocated shoulders!” “I can’t lift anything heavier than a mug of tea!” “You’ll have to help me with everything!” My mother shouted me out of the house and then burst into tears There are a lot of amazing carers as well but they didn’t have any control over where they were placed, and sometimes they would just be switched out randomly to go to another family Or they were great, but the only time they were available was when my brother and my dad were in the house anyway, not when we actually needed the help the most Plus, some just didn’t fit with what I really needed At the time, I was seventeen; I’d just had a massive health crisis that meant that instead of skipping into sixth form with my beautiful dresses, with my cute smile and chatting to my friends, I was instead being wheeled in, unable to take off my sunglasses indoors or move my arms I had to ask however was looking after me that day to take me to the toilet or to bring a drink to my lips I just desperately wanted not to stand out even more One of the council’s carers was an amazing, helpful woman but she was also middle-aged and had bright blue hair and drove a builder’s van that drew an awful lot of attention at the school gates Not what I needed right then I wanted someone who would blend into the surroundings Make it look like I wasn’t actually a social pariah I had friends The type of friends that make other teenagers think, “Wow, that girl in the wheelchair must be really cool” “I think today I will actually make eye contact with her” “Rather than making her swerve out of the way and change her path as I just walk directly into her, pretending she doesn’t exist” Thankfully, someone (I think it was a friend of my mother who also has a disabled child) told us about Direct Payments Direct Payments is a scheme where the government takes the money they were paying out for a carer and puts it into a bank account with your name on it You then use that money to employ someone as a carer But you#re also then handling their time sheets and paying taxes and arranging everything All the sorts of things that a normal employer would be doing It gives you a lot more flexibility and control over how your support is arranged and provided But it does come with the downsides of paperwork which is sort of fair, I mean, Also, you have to send back all your forms because the government needs to check that you’re not using the money for anything else which I totally understand, but it’s a lot of paperwork Fortunately, at the time, I was still living at home, so my mother handled all of the admin She’s a trooper Carers don’t need medical education and they can be absolutely anybody in your life except for someone you are related to or dating Although those people may actually be doing the job of a carer, no one really cares or pays them That’s a whole other video So, my mother asked her beautician if she would like the job It was honestly the best possible match She was already in a profession that required her to be considerate, and to deal with occasionally icky bodily bits Plus, she was just the sweetest person imaginable Hannah was only two years older than me I think But she’d left school early so she was already like a proper adult She could help me with the whole looking after me side of things while also blending in and looking just like my friend who just happened to be here And she was great with my hair, make-up, and nails Meaning even though I couldn’t do it myself, I still looked constantly fabulous The first day she worked with us was the night of my school leaver’s do (Think prom) And I was completely terrified The people who had been my friends for the first year of sixth form and then completely ignored me for the second year of sixth form whilst I was ill were leaving, but so were the amazing people who had stepped into the gaps and had become my friends And I had to stay behind, repeating the year until I could actually do my exams without passing out I’d imagined that night in my head for years How amazing I would look How the girl I had such a crush on would dance with me No where in those dreams did I have to be rolled in by my parents unable to do much of anything Wonderful Hannah did my make-up; she took me in her car and as we arrived everyone turned to stare at the incredibly pretty girl that I had brought along Everyone wanted to know who my new friend was and how they could meet her I think we had Hannah for two years It’s all a bit fuzzy in my mind But I remember her fitting into our family incredibly well One thing that’s really important is that the carer gets on not just with the person they’re caring for, but also their family; anyone they live with But, sadly, we could only afford to pay her what the government gave us and when she was offered a better-paying job, she had to take it We then tried one of my friends Yes, it is perfectly OK to employ friends But it–we kinda… Mmm. We knew each other too well, and it wasn’t really ideal We were too close, and we just–neither of us listened to each other Then came Lauren who already had sports physiotherapy training so, yay, I got that side for free We found her through advertising on local message boards, and it’s a route I would really recommend You’ll find people who are totally up for the job but wouldn’t have considered anything with “carer” on it previously The term ‘personal assistant’ also makes you sound really fancy Ooh, but then I went to university and boy did I crash off that cliff My condition had been slowly improving but I wasn’t even to the level that I am now For some reason, we thought it would be a great idea for me to move from my parent’s house in Bristol, where I had round-the-clock 24 hour care, should I need it, to Brighton University Four hours away and live in student halls where my care payments only covered three hours a day I think it was that I had been so very ill before that I seemed so much better now! Even though I couldn’t actually sit up for long or be trusted with things or handle stuff like cleaning and cooking Being able to complete an essay– being able to complete an essay when you’re tucked up at home in bed with people nearby who can come and bring you food and take you to the doctors should you need to be taken and clean your room and so on is very different to being suddenly in a new location trying to look after a disabled body, manage all household things, and go to class and write essays I’m going to make a separate video about being disabled in university So let me know if you want to see that It will probably be around the time that university choices are being made I know when that is now Because I really wish that at the time I’d had someone’s first-hand experiences to learn from, to help me make informed choices The gist will be that during the first year I became very, very ill And a huge part of that was down to my care not being good enough We decided that I wouldn’t be able to manage doing all of the admin and filling out forms and stuff So instead we found a care agency and they would send someone in Six days a week for three hours, and at the end of the month they would send me a bill and I would just sign a cheque and that was that Now, I am very grateful to have been given any money at all A lot of people in my situation were given half an hour a day which is completely appalling But what we didn’t factor in is that I have a changeable condition I need help when I need help, and immediately But you can leave me alone for many hours and I’ll be happy as Larry otherwise Having a schedule didn’t work for me, because my being ill doesn’t work to a schedule Oh, the horror stories I have to tell The second problem was that I wasn’t able to coordinate my own care With agency carers, you tend to get a different one every day and then you have to direct them as to what you need them to do This led to me being very unwell but unable to tell anyone what they needed to do to help me In one case, I lay in bed, barely able to see through the pain, and the carer, who I had never seen before, stood at the foot of my bed, repeatedly asking me what I needed And when no answer was forthcoming, she left Every day, I had to meet someone new; explain my condition to them, show them around the kitchen and my bedroom; lay out my care plan; and exactly what I needed them to do And by then, it was almost time for them to go Also, if I became ill in the evening, I just had to wait until someone came in in the morning And since the money I had been awarded didn’t cover Sundays as well, a few times I became incredibly ill, vomited everywhere, passed out on a Saturday evening, and then just had to lie there until Monday morning when someone came in to help me. It all spiralled downhill until my parents came to pick me up at the end of the year and found me in a dirty room unwashed and malnourished University is so fun. OK, wait Stare at my beautiful hair for a while Get over that ugly picture of me Think about my nice hair instead I’m not blaming the care agency at all It’s just the nature of that kind of arrangement You need the person who is in charge to be capable of being in charge I wasn’t There is a reason so few disabled students live away from home So, the next year, I was only allowed back to university on the provisor [?] that there be only one carer and consistency of care Hello, Tilly. In walked Pauline, an amazing Irish grandmother, with a heart of gold but steel at her core She was everything I needed in that moment She bossed me around like no tomorrow but she also bossed everyone else around She made sure that all of my pills were delivered on time; I had absolutely everything I needed; should I have any symptoms, the doctor WOULD be there; and they WOULD check me over, or Pauline would get them She made my environment completely clean and sanitary She got really angry at the other students who made a mess I always had food in the fridge; my bedding was always clean and occasionally she dragged me into the shower because damn it, Jessica, you need to wash that sick out of your hair, even if you don’t feel up to it I sort of pretended to hate it at the time but it was exactly what I needed And, sure, we had some boundary issues (You can see more about that in my ‘End the Awkward’ video) But having someone there to take care of the every day problems of my body meant that I could actually focus on getting my school work done When I eventually graduated, met my wife and got a job – which all happened in exactly the same week – I didn’t need the same type of care any more It was less about my body and more about helping me with cognitive tasks, with added first aid and occasional physical care So I left the agency and switched back to personal care but made sure to find someone who could handle the paperwork herself Which is where Clara comes in! Clara: Hola. Clara and I worked together at a TV station She worked underneath me and became my friend and then my carer I left that job, and the two of us started working together independently with her also being my carer It was a really great way to do it, because we already had experience of being boss-subordinate in the week days and then friends at the weekend! She’s really comfortable following my instructions but, equally, because part of her role – or job – was to advise me on things I know absolutely nothing about, I can listen to what she says and occasionally I do stop working and have a lie-down when she tells me to But generally I am quite happy to defer to her when she knows better Another plus is that since she handles the Direct Payment paperwork for me she knows it’s not my fault if the government are really slow with payments Finding the right person is absolutely key to having a good carer-caree relationship They have to be able to work with you as an equal but also to take direction and then stand up to you if they do know what’s best for your health In terms of whether it is best to get help from the government, Direct Payments, or from an agency I would 100% say that employing someone through Direct Payments is the best Even though they are really difficult to set up You have to have a specific bank account to put the money in but they won’t give you the money until you’ve got the bank account but you can’t make the bank account because you can’t put your own money in the bank account And much like Access to Work, it can feel as if all of the information on it is hidden from view Sadly, you don’t become disabled and get handed a pamphlet on all of the wonderful services you can now use No, you just need to know someone who is in the know Side note: Totally get a CEA card. Look that up. It will change your cinema-going life Personal choice is the most important thing If you want to keep a super professional relationship with your carer, then you do that If you also need a bit of parenting, there are those carers out there If you just want a best friend who also kind of helps you shower, then there are definitely those carers out there for you and you should do that It’s fine. There is not a rule book on the carer-caree relationship They just have to work with your personality Don’t feel that you have to take the first thing that you’re offered but, equally, don’t feel like you have to go down the incredibly stressful but technically more freeing route of Direct Payments if you are perfectly happy with whomever the government sends and don’t mind You will find what works for you, but it will probably be through an awful lot of trial and error There you go. My advice and experiences about having a carer /career Haha, anyone who came to this video thinking I spelt “career” wrong and is still here You are awesome Please write in the comments I imagine that is just one person, but I really want to know I would absolutely love to make a follow-up video to this one with Clara, so we can answer any questions you may have for her Also, really love to do it as a live stream because that way we can be way more interactive and you can actually ask questions and we can answer them in real time That will be this Sunday At 2PM But do follow me on Twitter to stay updated in case that changes for some unknown reason And, if that time is already in the past, it’s OK – there is a link down below in the description, which you can follow to go and watch that Please do leave any other questions that you would like answered in the comments section down below, especially if you are going to be asleep Bye, bye, my darlings

100 Comments

  • Aedra101 says:

    I'm a home care worker in nfld, cananda. While I love my job,it can be a nightmare. We're not allowed to be friends with our clients, and because I'm very young (not even 30 yet), none of my clients will actually listen when I tell them the best way to do something or try to help them. I've literally had pot lids thrown at me just because I dared to speak up/ask the client not to yell at me. It's great when you work with one or two people for an extended period of time (steady client/full time client) but I work as call in (I don't know when I'll get a call or if I'll be with someone I've previously worked with) and oh boy, is it ever hard.

  • Rosie Hillier says:

    I used to be a carer – it’s a very challenging job (it was too much for me) – however extremely rewarding at times.

  • Rosie Hillier says:

    I also should say that both companies I worked for were rubbish and I felt sorry for the service users because it made them suffer too as well as the workers

  • AbsterisAwesome says:

    I thought it said career but I'm dyslexic so I didn't realize it wasn't spelled right until you said so

  • Max Moore says:

    I'm the one!

  • Caitlin Quinn says:

    University- your experience is me right now. Different conditions,similar problems. Trying to work out care ahhhhh

  • Christina Moreschi says:

    I guess I’m one of those people who thought you were referring to career and stayed until the end because it was interesting!

  • Alter says:

    I misread 'carer' as 'career' but I stayed anyways, because of your fabulous hair. XD

  • John says:

    My dumbass thought this video was going to be about her career as someone who is deaf.

  • Amy Jodrell says:

    I thought it said career! But still loved the video

  • Angel _ says:

    I am my children’s care worker. It will be an interesting transition once they reach the age of adulthood, finding someone else. I feel that I will continue to help others as I know first hand how hard it is to find help and people who actually care. This was a great video.

  • 200yearsago says:

    I'd been avoiding this video because I kept reading career and thought it'd make me feel bad for being in my twenties and unable to do fuck all but I'm glad I finally watched it. 🙂

  • the weirdest person you would ever meet says:

    i thought it said career and wasn't interested then i did a double take and realized it said carer

  • Erica Leece says:

    Haha I thought it was about having a career too 😂 As soon as you said at the start that it was “carer” I thought “OMG I need to read more carefully!” Lol. Thank you for the informative video regardless 😁 I do think it would be great if you made a video about having a career in your 20’s, I think that would be interesting.

  • M M says:

    Very informative and I love how you told backstories for each caretaker

  • Taylor Sue Leonhardt says:

    I read career. Didn’t even see it was spelled carer until you said it. Stayed because your videos are always entertaining and informative.

  • the artist formerly known as mma says:

    Clara is adorable

  • the artist formerly known as mma says:

    I absolutely thought you meant career, but only because im slightly dyslexic

  • Julia Wagrowska says:

    This video has been in my recommended for MONTHS and i haven't clicked on it until now because i thought it said career, and boy do i not wanna think about my career yet. but definitely do wanna know what it's like having a carer even though there is a slim to none chance of me ever having one myself 🙂

  • Jen Smith says:

    I absolutely LOVE YOUR ATTITUDE!! you have fantastic story telling abilities and I hope and pray for you to write something! A book, a blog, something bc you paint the best pictures with your words😘
    Thank you. Your videos are helping me deal with the sudden loss of my partner. Much blessings and love to you, and Claudia!

  • Official Lilac says:

    18:48 👋

  • James says:

    aahhhh. Eat food and bathe! Man, that cut right to the core.

  • Gaiaen -aND PEGGY! says:

    What does the [CC] in your titles mean??

  • anne prouse says:

    Loving your videos. And this is an incredibly important and interesting subject, thanks for explaining and sharing your experiences.

  • studioovernights says:

    XD I totally read career. Whoops! Great video though, Jessica!

  • Jess ¿ says:

    Here in Colorado we have parent CNA's. They get paid shit; but at least it's something.

  • Darin Murphy says:

    Thanks for sharing your experiences as a caree. I'm a caregiver of an amazing lady who got hurt at work and became disabled. I've been her care giver since 2015 though I have yet to be officially paid. Since she makes just above the maximum gross income in the US, the government won't pay me. Also the carrier if her insurance won't pay me either because I am her boyfriend, but she still needs care so here I am. While she lacks a disease she does have the issue, like yourself in that she's fine until she isn't and then she's suddenly bedridden. Unlike you, her family won't really help her, I am with her 24/7 and unable to work either at home due to her needs and noise restrictions or outside the home due to her sudden needs and her daily needs. At the moment we are homeless and living at her sister's house, but that's very temporary. Okay that's probably TMI, anyway I really just wanted to thank you for sharing the trials and tribulations your situation. Hopefully as more people like you bring these situations out to the forefront the more they will be improved upon. Thanks again!

  • Courtney Herz says:

    Wow, this is really awesome. I love your channel! And I definitely would love to hear more from Clara! You're so lovely and your videos are so informative and also fun. Thanks for doing what you do. <3

  • Sara Grace says:

    Misread the title and still learned a lot

  • BooksByMarbles says:

    I definitely came here thinking this was a video about Careers but stayed because I love your videos anyway, and wanted to learn what you had to share.

  • apiphily says:

    I read career but I watch all your videos. Half of me feels like I would benefit so so much from a carer because Im the only one home all day and made to take care of the house and I can’t even shower standing up most of the time let alone scrub bathrooms and vacuum stairs and do all the dishes by hand 😭😭 but the other half of me is like nah you’re nowhere near sick enough for that plus working with the american health system is….. difficult to say the least

  • rebekka Johnston says:

    As a disabled agency carer it can be really difficult to get put to one area or specific clients but I can assure you that you do have control over who they send you just have to be forceful and not be too nice about it because they will not listen. I don't like hearing service users/clients talk about how they don't the same group of people and they always get new people who they've never seen before, it really shouldn't happen like that because it does effect your care. Just as a side note any half competent carer should be able to locate the big folder with risk assessments, care notes and Mars charts because it's drummed into your head during training

  • Nerdy T says:

    I work as a carer in Sweden (we call it personal assistant) and it was super interesting to hear about how it all works in the UK and to get your perspective on it all. Thank you for sharing!

  • Cynically Hopeful says:

    For those in America, depending upon your state and income, Medicaid offers a similar program. It's called Long-Term Care. It works just like what Jessica described. You are evaluated for your needs, and then you can either hire an agency who provides a caregiver, or do the direct payments and hire who you want.

    There are two types of programs where I live – homekeeping only (cleaning, shopping, cooking, etc) for those that don't require help with personal care (showers, toilet, etc), and then homekeeping + personal care. Depending on what you need, this can also involve a CNA and/or nurse to help with additional care.

    Just wanted to give people a heads up, since this isn't a well known program in the US. Lol, nope, we don't get a pamphlet either. I've hired an agency who sends a dedicated caregiver. I know some agencies send a new person each visit, but there's no way I could handle a new stranger into my house every time. The woman I have now is wonderful. Jessica's right – it makes all the difference when you find the right person.

  • Ana Abraham says:

    What an amazing concept- getting care when you need it (mostly) I know the system in the UK is not perfect but it’s a dream compared to the medical system and supports for disabled individuals in the US

  • jkmakeupmaster143 says:

    my health has been declining since I was 16, in 19.

  • DominosAndHearts says:

    Innitially i hated having carers in my tens and earky 20s, because of embarrassment and the fact im already gawked at so like having a carer in a uniform is just making people gawk more, when u waswith my old company uniforms were compulsary but with the company im going through now, their policy on staff uniforms more relaxed which as a client i prefer

  • Stephie says:

    I'm a carer in a residential home and it truly is the best job I have ever had. Meeting the people whom I get to support is remarkable the things they "you" over come every day and the way "you" they have to just accept that these people are here to help you in any way you need. I also love your comment on the carer caree relationship I couldn't agree more. It really is about being the person that the people you support needs you to be !

  • Terry Kriz says:

    haha I read career, then decided it was interesting enough to continue watching 😀

  • Elina Handeland Sande says:

    I definitely thaught it was career, but saw the whole thing because this was so much netter Jessica! Thank you for sharing!

  • enchanted botel says:

    I read career ….. thrice.

  • Salomé Le Louët says:

    I actually did come thinking that was about career 😂 and stayed, I like your voice and this was real interesting

  • Morag Sharf says:

    You are my new favorite youtuber. Such important and informative videos also great style love ❤️

  • Nashi Dragneel says:

    I read career But I watched anyway

  • edmondse says:

    I am a family carer and have been the 'person in charge' of carers for my family and now I'm someone who needs a level of care- but I haven't got a carer yet. The relationship can be strange but you're so right about personal choice. The right person makes all the difference.

  • scarabbi says:

    I did initially think it said 'career', but then looked again. There's also the fact that 'carer' isn't really the word for it in the US. I think I'd call it a home health aide here.

  • Rachel Cyders says:

    Does anyone know how having a carer works in the U.S.A or know of a video that explains this?

  • Libby Peery says:

    I wish I could become a carer but I'm awkward around newer people. But I plan to get out of my shell more and also become a womans health nurse in the future

  • Salma El Hadouchi says:

    I also thought you would talk about a career hahaha still watched it tho🤷🏻‍♀️

  • KayBeeWolf says:

    Totally me. And didnt realize u spelt it wrong until u said so lol

  • Rafat Hossain says:

    0:19 XD she looked so cute.

  • Emily Brown says:

    I’m now a career with a girl who is like one of my best friends we have such a laugh and amazing adventures..we use the title of buddy rather than career or PA it fits our relationship best

  • Brigid Richardson says:

    I’m very glad to hear and see representation out here in this realm of able bodied. Gives me (someone who nobody knows why i’m in pain and can’t walk+remember), someone to look up to just in case my illness is a never-ending one.
    (As a side note, your accent is a dream to hear, especially to someone who’s usually listening to garbled Australian slang)
    Thank you!

  • kelsie page says:

    Does anyone know if there is something similar in the USA, I have seizures, and I dont always need help but its really hard to do basic things sometimes. I've had months where I cant walk and i live alone so having someone to help would be nice. Any advice?

  • Amberlyn Caudill says:

    I didn’t even realize that it didn’t say career

  • Im Comfused says:

    I read car… very glad I watched though

  • Rachel Smith says:

    Came for the career, stayed for your amazing personality and storytelling!

  • Muffinsaur says:

    I like the fish print on your shirt/dress!!

  • Mushy Lui says:

    You are a true Saint💕

  • DragonRidingHood says:

    I have dyslexia and had to read the word a couple times before I realised what it said. I knew it either said carer or career but it took me a while

  • Becca Makin says:

    is 30 and has a carer Pretty much yeah….

  • Molly O'Hara says:

    I remember being in a chair. It is not fun. Trying to go to Morrison’s for some bits only to get several abled grown adults twat baskets into my head then just stare at you instead of apologise was a hoot.

  • Molly O'Hara says:

    Pauline sounds like one hell of a woman, I need a Pauline

  • Ellen Ward Lindley says:

    I am facing the daunting reality of needing a carer and this has been really helpful to know!
    Also – your hair really is beautiful.

  • Ab C. Def says:

    This posh person must have such a difficult life. Good help is so hard to find.

  • yukiandkanamekuran says:

    "being disabled in University"

    Y e a h, realizing that I had a neurological disorder in the middle of first semester was probably not the best way to go about things.

  • kittynekocat says:

    I misread it as career but stayed anyway 🙂 My Mum had carers but I was a teenager so never really had to deal with the deciding of stuff. Luckily we MOSTLY had good ones. It's interesting hearing about your experience as someone in their 20s

  • Danielle TDG says:

    I thought this was career… but was very interested when I found out it was carer. Thanks for an awesome video. 🙂

  • Amy Leigh Walker says:

    Did you do a university video?

  • LoudlyListening says:

    I think now it is known as a care act assessment!

  • Nicola Clements says:

    I came to this video because I'm quite dyslexic, and didn't notice carer/career until you brought it up. I live in New York where a program that I believe is similar to Direct Payments has only just been put into place (we also just got paid family leave) and it's something I've been curious about. Thanks for making this video! I do like to learn about how other people live, and I hope a lot of people who aren't directly impacted by this issue watched this video anyway.

  • Veronica Wilson says:

    Stunningly articulated message. Very important!

  • Katya Nightingale says:

    I thought you spelled career incorrectly and watched the whole video. Both topics are interesting to me.

  • 1Eilatan says:

    I'm dyslexic so whenever this video was recommended, definitely read "career". Until I heard you talk about Clara in another video and was like, "wait… did that say 'carer' and not 'career'??".

  • alethearia says:

    It was me. I saw Career. Stayed anyway, because you're lovely and this topic is something I needed today.

  • KelseyRose says:

    I live in the US and I really wish I had something like this available. I don't need constant care but I wish I had someone who would help me with the little things occasionally. Do I have food, have my sheets been washed, did I clean my cat's litter boxes, did I fold my laundry? My mental and physical health make me forgetful and also uninclined to do things that need doing even when I remember them.

  • Joanne Butler says:

    I have direct payments for care I am now to your channel you are amazing xx

  • iNinachu says:

    I was the one person, I watched all the way through after thinking it was going to be about careers haha

  • Gabby Rice says:

    I thought it was "career" at first lol. But I figured it out! Also, this was really helpful to me in… sort of de-stigmatizing this. I'm probably going to need a carer for a while. I'm 20 and completely wheelchair bound (through a complicated process of medical nonsense) and need help most every single day in one capacity or another. I have, in the past, adamantly refused a caretaker because I was too ashamed. There's still a lot to go through, there, but this helps. This helps so much.

  • Sarah Bacon says:

    I actually read career until you pointed it out but I'm glad I watched!

  • Hanaconda says:

    Really useful video!

  • Francesca Mundy says:

    *career

    😉 <3

  • Kaile Brogan says:

    I'm thinking of getting a service dog. Is that bad to have an animal instead of a person in my life? I'm shy 🙂

  • thewheelme says:

    One of my subscribers suggested this video, and all I can say is WOW! This is the first video I have. watched that someone has gone through basically the same thing regarding carers and all of the "adventures" shall we say of finding the right person. thank you. so much for putting my. frustrations into words, and so beautifully 🙂

  • Giorgia Line says:

    I absolutely misread as career, but it was interesting so I stayed for the whole video.

  • The Property Of Puns says:

    I'd love to see a video about being disabled in University!

  • eve greenhalgh says:

    i read career pah

  • Lewis Ford says:

    "Hello lovely people!"
    You should make your addresses more inclusive… rawr im a little monster

    Also your hair is lovely, I want a wig exactly like that. Bequeath your hair to me? I promise no-one plans to kill you for it 😇

  • LoneWolf Bestie says:

    I don’t know why I’ve read career

  • Matthew Conner says:

    I read career however this video was really interesting as well. I had no clue getting a carer was so difficult?!!

  • Maggie McGrath says:

    I read it as career cuz my eyes suck but this was more interesting than what I thought it was so yay!

  • Emily Williams says:

    cea cards are not mandatory if you take any disabled paperwork to a cinema they have to honour it and give you free carers tickets

  • danimatori says:

    I just read it as career cos I'm tiredddddd

  • Demon Wabbit says:

    If you have only a mental issue ( such as bad memory or any thing else that effects someone 24/7 really badly like not depression or anxiety unless it is crippling) can you still have a carer?

  • Gabi Kenny says:

    I love your hair and lipstick.

  • Efflorescentey says:

    I came thinking it was career 😂

  • Amelia Paterson says:

    Please may I borrow Pauline??? PLEEEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEEE????????

  • Amelia Paterson says:

    14:27 TILLYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!😍😍😍😍

  • Sarahle3 says:

    Thank you for providing a window into your life. I love that YouTube can be a platform for glimpsing the lives of all sorts of different people with different experiences. I appreciate your charm and your candor!

  • drcloudy says:

    . . . . I have had this video in my recommended at least twenty times.

    Literally every time I thought it said "Having a CAREER in your 20s" and so I didn't click it because that topic doesn't interest me.

    Holy crap.

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