Thoughts You Have While Putting On Makeup

Thoughts You Have While Putting On Makeup


(yawn) – [Voiceover] Yes, makeup time. (upbeat music) Does primer really matter? Or do we just live in a world of lies? God, this palette cost more
than my college education. I need a new base shadow. And more blending and more
blending and more blending. God, I have more layers on than a cake. Mmm, cake. Blending this shadow is the
most I’ve worked out this week. A right time to put on your face armor. I really should use a blender for this. Fuck it. As Jenna Marbles said, you should always blend into your neck. Do I have time to contour? (laughter) Who am I kidding? There’s always time to contour. I am an artist. Do I need to contour my nose? Do people even look at my nose? Oh God, that’s too dark. Why did I buy this? That Sephora employee
must have convinced me. Too much Sephora. This does not look like that tutorial. Okay, I should use a blender this time. God, what did they do
before beauty blenders? What is this secret little sponge? Beauty blenders are seriously
the most reliable thing in my life. I wish Steve was this reliable. God, this takes forever. Oh, okay girl. I’m sorry, is that Blake Lively or is that you? What does this brush do? I really should clean my brushes. Little more blending. Liquid or pencil? Who am I kidding, liquid. Dear makeup gods, please
give me the strength to make my eyeliners match. Steady, yes, you nailed that, girl! I wish someone was around to see that. I wish there was a copy and paste button for this other eye. You can do this. You do this, you do
this every day, come on. Wings so sharp, they could kill a man. Time for lips. Wait, did I eat those leftover
tacos before I applied this? Where is my lip line? Why does society say my
lip line has to end here? Ugh, my eye brows are like distant cousins instead of sisters. Who knew you could gel your eyebrows? Okay, remain totally still. Little orgasm blush. Wait, who names this shit? Oh God, that’s way too much. Concealer can fix any mistakes. I wish I could fix Steve’s mistakes. How old is this mascara? This better the waterproof
in case I see Steve today. I wish I could just apply makeup like a pie to my face. Listen, there’s no such thing
as too much highlighter. I am a shining star. (sigh) Looks good in selfie light. Okay, that didn’t take too long. Shit, now I gotta pick
out an outfit for the day. I’m gonna be so late.

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