Wife Does My Voiceover [CC]

Wife Does My Voiceover [CC]


Hello to you too there. This… I’m quacking… Sign… I need to learn sign better. I don’t know what she’s saying. Sorry guys. Okay, face. Beautiful face. Smile. My brace was so good by Claudia. Baby skin Slap your face with it like a baby’s bottom. Rub it. And stroke your beard, the imaginary beard. Squirt onto this… Whatever It is. Sponge thing. Squish squish squish. This is where I go wrong with my makeup. You got to really make it up like as if you’re going out for Halloween. Like really cover your face like it’s makeup, you know, like proper makeup. Not just you’re just highlighting features of your face. You are basically covering your whole face and painting a new one on. So… please start with the foundation on your blank canvas face. Whoa! She’s going super fast right now. I’m pretty sure this has been edited, but I’m not sure. I’ve never seen her do her makeup like when I- normally I’m at work. So okay, wait… Whoa! Oh my God! Even faster! She’s like super human. Okay. Rubbing your lip, rubbing your face. I think that might be her numb bit. She doesn’t know. Um…. Eyebrows People always pull this very serious face when they’re doing their makeup. I always have to open my mouth when I’m doing my mascara. I don’t know. I think that’s quite a common thing, yeah. It just makes you look like a gormless idiot. When Jessica has kind of perfected that like looking quite neutral and then smiling. She doesn’t open her mouth when she does her makeup. I don’t think. We’ll watch out for it. *gibberish* Yeah, as you can tell, I’m a little bit confused and lost with why this makeup procedure is taking so long. Actually I do put the baby skin stuff on and then I put on the foundation, there’s the one with the sponge. And the sponge thing is like a new thing for me. Like Jessica basically showed me to sponge my face to make it all nice and matte and it’s pretty good. It hides all the blemishes. It’s nice. But then I kind of just… I kind of like base its, based it, basiced it down. Because I can’t be bothered of all the like you know smudge smudge blend blend smudge. Where do you even keep an eye shadow palette that big? I mean, no one has a makeup bag that big. It’s not convenient. It just doesn’t make sense. Actually to be fair, Jessica has a makeup drawer and a makeup basket. Oh, actually two makeup drawers, a makeup basket, a makeup bag, and a travel makeup bag. So I guess, you know, she’s got enough space for this, you know, extensive palette. I just have like a drawer with some socks in it. That’s it. That’s- that’s all I have at home. I should just add about the comment about how I’m like often drunk. It’s like on nights out, I meant. Not like just like all the time that I’m often drunk. Because obviously I don’t- I’m not like drilling people whilst I’m drunk. That would be wrong. And that sounds really strange if you don’t know that I’m a dentist. But yeah. I’m often drilling people’s teeth. Not just drilling. I just don’t- you know it’s not like a weird the pastime of mine. I’m not some strange like, you know, psychopath.
Just drilling people. Anyway, I should probably stop talking about that cuz I am actually a qualified dentist. And this is probably gonna get out and people extract it and put it all and totally the wrong way. Anyway! This is gonna be about Jessica and somehow I always make it about my job and dentistry and how that’s very strange. Actually it does tie in to the makeup thing and why I don’t do make up so much as Jessica does. Because why would you? When you’re, one, wearing a mask that covers half your face and then you put glasses on that covers the other half. And then you’re sitting beside- behind someone’s head and all they can see are your hands. So It really doesn’t make much sense to putting up lots of makeup because no one will see me. I’m just like the like, you know, demon dentist that everyone thinks I am. I’m not really. I’m actually really really nice. Anyway, I’m gonna stop talking about me being a dentist and go back to Jessica’s makeup tutorial. Because that’s what it’s about. Cuz Jessica does makeup and fashion and she looks gorgeous and I’m jealous. And we’re sweeping sweeping sweeping or smudging. I think you get the idea. It’s kind of grab, smudge, sweep. Oh. Yeah. Definitely gormless mouth right now during the eyeliner. See, it’s always the eyeliner and mascara moment. Why is that? There must be some- I bet someone’s done a scientific study on why people… And she doesn’t- look, she doesn’t even do the mouth open thing for the mascara. But the lips are very pursed. And… that’s a scary look. Don’t do that. Why are you pulling your eyelids down? This is why you get things stuck in your eyes all the time, Jessica. She does her makeup and she’s like, “Oh my God! I got something in my eye!” Yeah, probably like the twenty things you just shoved around it. Okay. Um… I don’t really wear fake eyelashes, but I wish I kind of did a bit more. Because they do you make your eyes really nice and they pop. The thing about why I don’t like wearing them is that it’s obvious that you’re wearing them. Think it is. I think it’s obvious that you’re wearing them. Maybe not to other people, but to yourself even because it’s like, what is this huge thing on my eyelid? Also when they come off, it’s really disturbing and you don’t realize. So like mine just like peel off and they’re like gooey. And I’m just like, “Hi! How you doing?” And my eyelashes like flapping about like some weird like insect attached to my face. And I have no idea and people are staring at me and I’m like, wow! They’re staring at my eyes. They did such a good job on it. Oh my God! I’m like Jessie. And then it’s just- I get home and it’s- it’s just like, eyelash stuck on face. Not in the right place. Not even on my eye. It’s like a- it’s like a face lash. And number seven again. I don’t think she has shares of them, she just really loves the brand. Uh… Black… What is this? I have no idea what that was. Did she just put It away? She didn’t even put that on her face. Okay. Uh… What is this? Uh… Some kind of highlighter. Another highlighter. This is nice though. Look it’s doing something really nice to her eyes. Whatever it is. She’s never showed me this one before. It’s obviously a secret secret makeup thing. Ah! And there’s my beautiful wife! Like, yep. Definitely put on a nice little like glittery sunlight filter because isn’t she just a ray of sunshine? I love her. Oh, dog. Puppy. Yes. Aw Oh. That’s it. Byee!

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